If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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