R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
