Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
