My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
