I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
