Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
id be glad to
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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