I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
