need another drink. this is the easiest way
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
