nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
