Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
