Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
