I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
