You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
