Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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