I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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