what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So squirting runs in the family.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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