just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
