i jhust puked up my retainher.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
