I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think I am morally bankrupt
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
