why didn't you poke me back
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
