Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
