cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
