You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
