David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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