I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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