you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
