my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
