And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
