All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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