She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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