help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
