apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
