the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
