No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
