her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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