I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
