Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize