How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
