Don't make out with my wife yet
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
