i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
