She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize