Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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