I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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