im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
