hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
nutella sex= disaster
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
