I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
