sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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