it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
whose ass print is on the piano?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
