he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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