Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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