my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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