Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
