My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
