Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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