forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
