Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
