I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
