u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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