Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My feet surprised me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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