i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
