My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fuck appropriateness.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
