And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
