I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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