Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
