I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
