Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
